Feel free to have a laugh whilst reading this piece. Feel free too, to look beyond the simple and unserious language and ponder the poignant message lying within.
The EU debate has gradually heated up to fever pitch, with David Cameron pleading ‘remain’ and Boris Johnson yelling ‘leave’. Nigel Farage is all for ‘leave’, too. But while David has got very viable all-encompassing points for backing ‘remain’, including a strong/stable economy and security, Boris and Nigel’s only points for supporting ‘leave’ are immigration and sovereignty.
Let’s face it, there’s more to Britain than immigration. But immigration is why I’m stressing that we vote ‘remain’, albeit from a different angle. Let me, at this point relay the reason for my unwavering stance: a bevy of beautiful but lonely friends of mine have been hitting the pubs in search of love. They’ve been at it for five consecutive Friday nights but the story has been the same…in all the pubs…each night. The blokes were all taken! The ones who didn’t bring their birds along flashed their wedding rings once approached by a free bird.
At some point, a dapper lad strode to my friends’ table, an affectionate smile adorning his adorable face. My friends’ faces lit up with excitement; one of them was about to be asked out… at last. Wow… what a lucky evening! Each of them hoped to be the object of the bloke’s affection. But the chap tilted his head, cooed a knee-melting ‘hello’ and asked if any of them had a lighter. The faces around him drooped with disappointment as it dawned on them that he wasn’t looking for a bird; he was only looking to light his cigarette. Then some gorgeous lass stepped forward from somewhere and grabbed his arm as though to protect him from the love-hungry hawks who were gawking at him with needy eyes. It was his girlfriend… or wife. My friends rose in swift unison and left the pub. Yuck… what a lame evening!
What I think is… there are not enough single blokes in Britain to go round… and hearts habour deep voids as a result. Yup, that’s the sad reality. And the situation is this bad while the borders are open and EU citizens have free movement into Britain. What would happen should the ‘Leave’ group win on Thursday and put heavy padlocks on the borders? That would mean the single guys who could come in and cure some lonely hearts being shut off.
Ladies, are we willing to lead lives devoid of love? Are we ready to give up the peace and assurance that come from being in a relationship with a nice and caring man? Couldn’t we all do with some TLC (tender loving care)?
Be thoughtful and vote ‘remain’ when Thursday dawns. Some of us already have dashing blokes in our lives and are not looking anymore. But think of the hordes of ladies out there who are lonely. Imagine being in their shoes. Imagine how hollow they feel and vote right. Vote ‘remain’, that UK borders may remain open and let love in.
Keep a date next week. Oh… and for more of my cheeky writing, visit amazon.co.uk and check out my novel, RED PASSPORT, which is currently ‘Top 3 book’ on Kindle.
Laura Tata Onuigbo xx